Quick Monkey Facts

1) Chimpanzees are 6-7 times stronger than humans - (1) (2)

2) An adult gorilla's erect penis is about 1.5 inches - (1) (2)

Why is this important you ask?

Because you never know when you are going to rub a lamp and out pops a Genie. And as everyone knows from watching TV that Genies are very mischievous and always trying to get you to misuse your 3 wishes. So your Genie might ask you "would you like to be hung like a gorilla or as strong as a chimpanzee?". Being deceitfully clever, the Genie might even tell you that it is a freebie and won't count against your wishes (that's just how Genies roll). Without these quick monkey facts you would have bought into the media's propaganda that chimps are friendly little coworker buddies that barely have enough strength to hit the copier button and gorillas are testosterone laden beasts that beat the hell out of luggage. You would think this is a no brainer, and you would be screwed.